In recent years, cancer has become the central and recurring theme in my family life. Four years ago, we lost my niece Marta to the disease. Soon after, my baby sister Dámaris succumbed to cancer and also went to be with the Lord. Two years ago, I was diagnosed with colon cancer. Having endured two difficult rounds of surgery along with chemo and immunotherapy, I still live with the tumor. And if that wasn’t enough, four months ago, the doctors diagnosed my wife Encarnita with breast cancer. She recently had surgery and is now undergoing chemotherapy and radiation treatment.
Since my initial diagnosis, I have come to terms with the fact that the cancer is still in my body and that I could enter eternity soon. Many people try to encourage me by saying “It is not fair that you have cancer”. But in reality, this is a natural part of the cycle of life since the fall in the Garden of Eden: birth, life, and death. Some diseases are worse than others, and many will eventually lead to death. And when facing death, we have choices about how to live: some live with denial, some with constant fear or rage, while others live with acceptance, not allowing the disease to destroy the precious time they have left to live. I have chosen the latter path. In other words, I choose to follow Jesus when he wisely says: “… do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself”. Live each day as if it were your last. If we all adopted this perspective, we would live our lives very differently. Ironically, I have preached these words for fifty years. Yet, due to my illness, only now am I following my own advice.
One of the first things you notice after the diagnosis is that you have less energy to accomplish daily tasks. You lose your stamina and are often fatigued. And the debilitating pain makes it that much worse causing frustration, moodiness, sadness, anger and loneliness. You become isolated from other people because you become averse to many forms of human activity: loud noises, laughter and even comforting words from loved ones.
When I experienced pain, I remember that my wife Encarnita was always quietly at my side, serving as my nurse, even learning how to inject my medication. And fortunately, our friends at the Palliative and Pain Unit of the Dénia Hospital did everything humanly possible to alleviate the pain. It’s really important to know that all pain can be treated. My pain was caused by the pressure of the tumor on nearby nerves and by my two surgeries. And I can assure you that the pain was and can still be significant!
This is why spirituality is so important in the treatment of cancer and its consequences. And unfortunately, rarely is it prescribed and included in the arsenal of therapy options. Christian spirituality gives us comfort, peace and positively affects our state of mind and the way we respond to pain and to the threat of possible death. Medical research indicates that one’s attitude is one of the most important factors when battling pain and disease and I have found this to be true in my own case. My Christianity has been my trampoline and has given me peace in the midst of the storm and tranquility in the face of desperation. This inexpensive “medication” is available to all for which Jesus Christ paid the ultimate price on the cross at Calvary.
And you don’t have to wait until you become physically ill. I strongly recommend that you take the medication now, as a preventive remedy to care for your spiritual life.
We all live with uncertainty about our future. There are no guarantees in life. I remember going down an escalator in a public place when I overheard the man behind me shouting on his mobile phone. The financial markets had just collapsed, and he had just lost all of his money in the stock market. Many aspects of our lives are unpredictable. This is part of life. It is the nature of our journey on earth.
I suppose that as you read these words today, you might be facing some uncertainties that might shake your faith. It’s possible that you are asking yourself difficult questions about your health, work, finances, a friend’s betrayal, or misunderstandings with fellow church members. Of course, we can’t avoid uncertainty in this life, but we can decide how we will respond. Often, our response gives us even more uncertainty, fear, and pain, which results in depression and anxiety. What’s an alternative response? My preference is to respond in a way that benefits my soul, my well-being, and the people in my life who are impacted by the way I live.
I recently read a story about John Kavanaugh, a renowned professor of philosophy. He recounts a moment in his life when he went to Calcutta as a volunteer to serve three months in "The House of the Dying." He was in India searching for direction and clarity for important decisions he needed to make about his future. The first morning there he met Mother Teresa. She asked, "What can I do for you?" Kavanaugh asked her to pray for him. "Why do you want me to pray for you?" She asked. He replied that he had traveled thousands of miles to find direction for his life. He asked Mother Teresa to pray and ask God for clarity. Teresa responded very firmly and sincerely: “No, I will not do that. Things have never been clear for me. What I have always had is trust. So then, I will pray for you to trust God.”
We all long for clarity. We shout for the fog to dissipate, for the clouds to leave, for the thunder to cease, for the hurricanes to disappear, for the earthquakes to stop, for the storms to pass, for a cure for cancer. We are constantly searching for peace and tranquility in the midst of life’s uncertainty.
People write me letters asking how Encarnita and I are getting along. They say that we are both so strong in the face of so much adversity. My response is always “in the middle of the storm, we know who is at the helm of our boat and who will lead us to a safe harbor.” As disciples of Christ who are sharing the experience of cancer together, this is the only way we can live out our lives.
The desire for control can become an idol. It can seek to replace our trust and faith in eternal life. It’s human nature to want to control every detail of our lives and our futures because it gives us a sense of security and clarity. But this need for control clashes with dependence upon the Lord Jesus Christ. If we give ourselves up to him completely, we will truly see that God does help and support those who love him. This is difficult to accept in today’s world, but it becomes reality through Jesus Christ.
We often create detailed plans for ourselves that chart out very specific strategies and actions that will take us to a utopia of happiness and security. We don’t realize that there is a better way, a better life, the true perfect place to which Jesus is leading us. As Christians, we are often influenced by the cynical society and toxic culture in which we live. And the worst thing is that many of we Christians aren’t even aware of it.
Do you suffer from depression and anxiety? Do you lack clarity in your life? No one can permanently heal your illness, loneliness, sadness, bitterness and rejection. No one can give you the perfect medication that will provide a cure. The traumas, the remorse, the sins in your life are not fixed by magic, superstitions or other false substitutes. Only the living God can completely erase all of your sin, giving purpose to your life and carrying you securely through the many storms that you will encounter during your lifetime. This is called living with salvation! God has given you a precious gift! How can you pass up this opportunity? Do you dare not check it out?
Jorge Juan Pastor-Mut, Consulting Pastor, Colegio Alfa & Omega
Translated by Scott and Sue Johnson
